Little House in the Airy

Here’s a story about someone you know. Actually it’s more a story of someone you THINK you know. To truly get a feeling for this person’s dilemma. I will ask that you imagine what it was like.

One day you inexplicably find yourself floating within humming, whirring waves of energy; barely distinguishable variations of light and dark. You are a mere point of awareness with no perceivable  “body” because there is no sense of “in here” or “out there”, there is no sense of where”you” begin or end.

Suddenly there is a feeling of vertigo, of being moved from one viewpoint to another and there is now in your awareness  a vague, barely distinguishable, “cloud” of energy that seems to come closer and closer until it seems to surround you and it feels as if it is merging with you and adding a warmth and making the vertigo go away. There’s a sensation of being in a “place” rather than just floating.  There is a feeling of a particular quality of energy coming FROM the cloud and permeating you and somehow creating a border or boundary to your awareness, as if being in this cloud focuses your attention and whatever is outside the cloud doesn’t have as much importance, doesn’t draw your attention.

And then, the vertigo returns and the cloud seems to be moving away and you are once again floating in the endless dynamic flows of light waves and frequencies.

Now, however, you are paying more attention to see if more “clouds” are forming and whether or not they are moving toward you.  Some come closer, some just pass by but now you are actively looking for “clouds” against the undifferentiated background and you see more and more of them. It is a difficult task. Your awareness stretches to infinity and you are trying not to pay attention to anything that doesn’t look like it COULD be a “cloud”, a shape, something with a boundary to it. There is so much that you have to ignore in order to find a cloud. Where do they start and where do they end?

The cloud with which you merged does return, many times. Each time you perceive it, you are able to ignore more and more of the background and see only “your” cloud. You get so good at it that you can even ignore the background you are aware of behind it so that your cloud appears markedly different from the transparent nature of the light waves and frequencies.. you have managed, by learning to focus and ignore/filter out, to make it appear “solid” and not transparent against the background. And the more able you are to make the cloud appear solid, the more “solid” your own sense of yourself becomes.

As time passes you become aware of a different set of wave frequencies emanating from your cloud. They interact with you and vibrate you in a way that is different from being enveloped. It’s like they just send a ripple through you, but a ripple of a very unique kind.  You notice that sometimes you feel the ripple even before you are aware of your cloud itself. Most of the time, when you feel the ripple, your cloud arrives soon afterward. You begin to experiment. Can you MAKE a ripple? Can you intentionally emanate this kind of vibratory ripple? As luck would have it, you manage to make a ripple and to your delight, your cloud comes.

The more you and your cloud are merged, the more you notice that you are absorbing different ways of making the clouds seem solid. It’s as if your cloud is giving you a set of filters that you learn to use to ignore 99% of what is,  so that now there are more and more clouds and they appear UNIQUELY solid. Each one has a very distinct shape based on the filters your cloud has given you. You even become aware that if you wobble in a particular way, you can even see parts of your own personal cloud, your own “solid” body.  You experiment and discover you can make different parts of your personal cloud come at you or go away from your point of awareness. And the big cloud that sometimes holds you  has also given you filters for various kinds of those ripples. The exploration and experimentation continues.

Time passes and through the combination of your new filters and a bunch of trial and error you have learned many things. Perhaps the most radical things you learn are the ones that now make it virtually impossible to see into infinity, to see just the dynamic flow of light waves and frequencies… you have learned to make labels and names and to perceive ONLY that to which you have given a label.

The Big Cloud is now called Mother, the ripples are called sight or sound or taste or touch or smell. And you have learned to give each kind of ripple a different name. This is very attention consuming stuff here. Imagine learning the quality of vibration called “sound” and then learning to get even more specific: Mother sounds become specific words and words have specific meanings and you learn to tell whether a particular word is spoken with kindness or harshness.

The same is true of what you learn is called “seeing”. First you learn “tree”, then “pine tree”, then “California pine tree”, then “Monterrey California Pine tree” and on and on getting more and more specific. It is true with touch, taste and smell also. You learn to only pay attention to these five ways of perceiving  as if you are now locked inside a house with only five tiny windows. Your complete attention is now focused on what can be perceived through these five windows and the endless task of naming it, deciding whether it’s “good” or “bad” and determining a course of action;  fight it, flee from it, allow it to interact with you, use it in some way to your benefit, or ignore it.  And you get further and further away from being able to perceive the truth you were first aware of… that it’s all just a dance of absolutely benign light waves and frequencies with “you” being merely a sense of awareness in the midst of it all.  A simple “I” that learns “AM” and then “THAT”.

This person, as you may have figured out, is you “incarnating”.


Ego Partum Meus Verum

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